Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): I finally heard from the genetic counselor’s office! I have a call Monday morning at 8:30 am to learn my BRCA gene fate! I mean, at this point it would be weird not to be BRCA positive. We shall seeeeeeeeee.

TO THE SHORT VERSION!

I was told that I should avoid eating big meals and work towards eating five or six small meals a day. I should become a snacker, they said. I like to follow rules so I did try that for the last four or five days, but I have just been so hungry! This morning, against my better judgement, I cooked myself up a whole potato (hashbrown style) and made an egg on a biscuit with avocado. Gosh, that was blissful but I think I literally fucked myself over. There is a reason they say you should snack on chemo. I have been consistently full all day and not in a “oh shit I just ate the best meal and I am stuffed” sort of way. Oops.

Here is a list of everything I ate today: weird berry smoothie, half a protein cookie, potatoes, egg and biscuit avocado sandwich, small grilled cheese sandwich, and 80 ounces of water. I am mainly blogging for me so I can reference this milestone later down the road, but are you impressed? I am. Chemo can take so many things from me, but clearly not my appetite (or at least not today.)

I was surprisingly alert until about 1 pm today and was quite productive at work! But then the afternoon hit and my energy NOSE DIVED. The chemo brain settles in hard. I lose all motivation. I am not sure how to get around this? I hope it continues to improve until I receive treatment next Thursday. Ugh. I am dreading the second round of the red devil. I want to speed up time and also slow it down. I want to get the next seven weeks over with as fast as possible while also finding moments where I feel alive and not like someone has repeatedly slapped me with a fish for hours at a time.

I did take three walks today and made it to 10k steps! Woo! New chemo record! The weather was absolutely blissful. Transformation is in the air.

Today’s song lyric of the day is brought to you by Ella Fitzgerald. A perfect song for today’s weather.

“Spring this year has got me feeling
Like a horse that never left the post
I lie in my room staring up at the ceiling
Spring can really hang you up the most”

– Spring Can Hang You Up The Most, Ella Fitzgerald