Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): I would say 85% of the hair on my body is gone. We are right on schedule. Chemo is 48 hours away and I am trying to enjoy these final days exercising and eating all my favorite foods. It also has been 50 days since I started my blog and I am ~shook~ that I am where I am right now in my life timeline. Thanks for being here with me.

TO THE SHORT VERSION!

Unless you were my friend in high school, not my people know of my past life as a professional mermaid. Well that is a bit of an exaggeration. I was a chlorinated little punk swimmer, but same thing right? You wouldn’t have caught me admitting I was a great swimmer then, but now that I am probably terrible at swimming, I can tell you I was a fast little fish!

There was a secret tradition we all would do before a big meet like districts or state. We would shave ALL HAIRS OFF OUR BODIES. This seems like no big deal, but it meant shaving my arm hair and I always felt super weird about that. Did it really give me an advantage in the pool? I really have zero idea, but it was a bonding experience to shave my arms with the girls an hour before heading to the meet. It was a rite of passage. It was tradition. We would walk into the pool all slick and hairless, hoping that would help us glide faster and more seamlessly in the water. I swam my fastest 100 freestyle time my senior year at my last race at state. Was it because of my hairless arms? Probably not. But maybe…

Instead of paying $10 for some shaving cream and fancy razors, I now get charged over $5,000 (well my insurance gets charged hehe) per treatment to make me hairless. Chemo is the most expensive hair removal service I will ever experience and I used to pay to get laser hair removal! Most of my hair is gone, even my ear hairs and nose hairs! My nose feels all exposed and raw. My ears feel harder to clean now that I don’t have hairs holding the wax in place. I still have my arm hair though. I cannot believe I lost all of my other hairs before my arm hairs! They are the last hairs standing.

Being bald is actually kind of fun. You don’t realize how thrilling life is until a breeze grazes your tiny scalp hairs. It reminds me of menthol creams. It feels a little tingly and exciting. I also love that getting ready in the morning is a breeze. See what I did there? A wind pun! I hope it blew you away. *cackling* I still wash and condition my cue ball since I want to keep it moisturized and happy, but it doesn’t take much. I love having colorful hair, but I have embraced my baldy bad bitch lifestyle. Although I was forced to be this way, it actually is working out for me. Might as well enjoy this chapter in life, well as much as one can enjoy cancer. You don’t enjoy cancer, but you know what I mean.

Today’s song lyric of the day is brought to you by Cardi B.

“Oh I need the dollars, cha-ching (I said I like it like that)
Beat it up like piñatas (I said I like it like)
Tell the driver, close the curtains (I said I like it like that, skrt)
Bad bitch make him nervous (I said I like it)”

– I Like It – Dillon Francis Remix, Cardi B, Bad Bunny, J Balvin, Dillon Francis