Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): Today was my LAST RED DEVIL CHEMO! I MADE IT! I still have to survive the next two weeks and who knows what kind of side effects I will get this time, but the hard part is just about over. We had fun today at chemo stealing snacks, but like most good days, there are always hidden surprises. Today was a legit party, with its ups and downs and all my friends. I am going to make you read the long version to find out what surprises today had in store for me.
TO THE LONG VERSION!
I love surprises. And I love the idea that people either love surprises or they don’t. I don’t generally like things that are binary since it feels like there is no room for nuance, but this is one opinion that actually makes sense in a binary. I like the thrill and thoughtfulness of a good surprise. The only downside for me as someone whose love language is gift giving is that I immediately enter planning mode to surprise them back and buy something. But for me that is less of a downside and more of an opportunity to make someone feel loved. Perspective!
But the surprises I got at chemo today were not the kind I generally like to get. It worked out in my favor, but as a chronic planner and someone who really likes to avoid needles or at least know about them, I keep encountering rouge fucking needles! It comes with the territory. Cancer is an unpredictable bitch who likes to surprise you. I mean, that is how I found out about my lumpy little breast after all. Surprise! Cancer!
Blood work did not include 30 port flushes so that was nice. If you remember last time, I walked away from chemo having enjoyed 48 beach balls. I love living my best life as a hydrated little bitch, but I also hate wasting time. Balance. I told the nurse about what happened at round three chemo with my port. We did about six or seven flushes before I excused myself to the bathroom and just like magic, I gave her blood. In true surprise fashion, I brought red devil jello shots with me to give to my nurses and friends (non-alcoholic, of course!) She laughed and thought I was funny and took the shot. It is nice to surprise people with random things.
After blood work, I generally meet with my oncologist to go over my labs which have never been ready in time for my appointment. I normally don’t know how stable I am until I make it to chemo. I was hopeful that we would get to see my labs together since my appointment was at 8:30 am. I was in luck! I am not neutropenic and my labs are looking perfect! Chemo win! I think I definitely was last weekend, thus the wonderful head abscess I developed. That growth factor shot really works wonders. Bless.
I did learn that we will do scans towards the end of my chemo to learn more about what is going on with my spine. Depending how that goes, there is a very high chance I will also be receiving radiation on my spine along with my breast and right arm pit. Yay more sunburns for me. That was a semi surprise, but not really given we are on cancer watch for my spine.
The second surprise came when she asked if I had any final questions and I asked when I was getting my next hormone blocker shot. If you don’t remember, my cancer eats estrogen for breakfast so I have to be on a hormone blocker for five years to stop producing estrogen. I started during chemotherapy versus starting when I complete it because there are some studies that have shown it may offer protection to my fertility. I will receive this shot monthly for now and eventually every three months. We won’t know if I am fertile until five years from now. She said she wasn’t sure, so she looked at my account, and looked back at me and laughed and said, “Oh you are getting it today.” SURPRISE BEAST NEEDLE. I was like fuck. Not only was it my last day with the red devil and I was excited to be there, I had to do something really hard that I hate. Time to put on my “I am not really brave but I am pretending this is ok?” face.
The BEST chemo surprise of the day was getting my favorite nurses that gave me my orientation: Rachael and Jessie. They are just simply wonderful and make me insanely happy. Chemo is my happy place, mainly because I choose to make it that way. But of course because I had this amazing surprise, I got another not so fun surprise during chemo: my port was not interested in giving blood return. In order to receive the red devil, I have to show there is blood in me so that the chemo isn’t going outside the vessel. Nurse after nurse had me doing the boogey woogies, waving my hands in the air, doing laps in the chemo ward, even I showed my impressive squat form and someone said I was very flexible. Squatties for the hotties!
Flush after flush and nurse after nurse produced nothing so we finally made the decision to give me tPA (tissue plasminogen activator.) According to this article I found online, “Catheter occlusion is a common complication of long-term venous access ports. Aggressive therapy with low-dose tPA can salvage function. It provides safe and effective therapy for venous port malfunction secondary to fibrin sheath.” So basically there probably was some sort of sheath that was in my port preventing blood coming out all the time. We got it solved, but it took an hour for the drug to work its magic, so our day was delayed a bit.
Today was a party with so many surprises. We had jello shots, cool snacks, and great company, but we also had unexpected drugs and needles. Huh. That does sound like a party from my early 20s. And I even had a party foul! I dropped one of my pills on the ground. Oops.
So far I am feeling okay, but I am insanely tired. I have drank so much water today and I really hope I get the luxury of sleeping through the night tonight. It is a rare thing these days.
I am now on the path to twelve weeks of weekly chemo. That will begin May 12. Of course I will have an all informative post for you all about that, what’s in my chemo bag, and finally a poster for my art charity event in June next week in the blog so stay tuned.
Fuck the red devil. I’m out.
Today’s song lyric of the day is brought to you by Disturbed. My inner emo middle schooler has been waiting to share this song.
“Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me”
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