Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): I met with the radiologist on Friday. We basically checked in to see how I was doing and see if I had any final questions about radiation. After, I had a simulation which turned out to be a CT (without contrast) followed by the tattooing of tiny black dots to guide where I will be radiated each time. Then, I got a quick little intro on radiation and how to get ready for each appointment. I will start radiation on November 7!
TO THE LONG VERSION!
Halloween is one of my absolute favorite times of the year. Could I be the queen of spooky? Probably not. I am not into being scared or scaring others. Laughing is more my speed. I also fancy anything pumpkin spice flavored and this time a year that flavor is in abundance. Call me basic but Dairy Queen’s pumpkin spice blizzard has my heart. However, I tried the pumpkin spice Frappuccino from Starbucks this fall and did not enjoy it. I guess not everything is meant to be pumpkin flavored.
Things that are not pumpkin spice flavored: my costume choices. I love the thrill of being someone else. Perhaps it is the Gemini in me? Just kidding. That is not how my sun sign works. I love the creative opportunities that come with Halloween. Somehow I delved into the world of costuming on an amateur level about five years ago. It is fun transforming into different characters and pushing myself to learn new skills. Last year as Poison Ivy I learned how to sew. I sewed every single ivy leaf onto my costume. It took HOURS, but the effort and result was worth it. I first tried to glue them on, but that was a huge fail. Once the vision has been created, I honor my hard work (and that of those who help me) with a photoshoot. What’s the point of putting so much effort into something so magnificent if you can’t share with it everyone?
I wish I could take all the credit for putting my costumes together, but I am not THAT good. I have some wonderful friends who have skills in costuming and photography. Oh, and I lean pretty heavily on Pinterest and Etsy for ideas and additional details that I simply cannot fulfill. In the end, it all comes down to a vision seen and realized and for that I am most grateful. Here are my iconic ~lewks~ from the last five years. PHOTO INTERMISSION!
This year I have not been able to put as much personal effort into my costume given my diagnosis, but I knew who I wanted to be since November 1 of last year. Despite my little tangle with cancer, it kind of has added to the character a bit I have selected for this year and I am excited to share with you all this week the complete vision! Yesterday was my shoot and now I anxiously wait for the edits. I love that I still get to celebrate this year despite all the stupid shit going on.
I also love carving pumpkins. I am not the best at it but it does bring me a lot of joy. This year I recycled one of my previous pumpkin designs (tiny pumpkin home) and tried to do a ghost, but I messed up the ghost. Thank goodness for tooth picks!
Friday I met with the radiologist and got squared away for the next leg of treatment. I will complete 28 rounds of daily radiation starting November 7 and my last treatment will land on December 21. I won’t have treatment Thanksgiving day or the day after and I also will not have radiation December 9 and 12 since I will be in California for my chemomoon!!! What is chemomoon you may ask? Well well well… you know how people go on honeymoons when they get married? I mean, I didn’t but I know people do I think? Well chemomoon is a celebratory vacation to commemorate the poison I consumed this year and the shit I endured. I was hoping I would be done with radiation as well, but it is what it is. Also life is short and I deserve to go somewhere!
Chemomoon will take place December 8-12. Jose and I will leave Thursday after my appointments and drive down to Portland to enjoy an evening drinking beer and watching his favorite comedian. Friday morning we fly out to Los Angeles, and I hope to consume many delicious things this day. Saturday, we will be going to see two of our favorite DJs: Deadmau5 and Kaskade! And of course chemomoon would not be complete without a full day at Disneyland! *Insert 90s “I’M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD” scream here*
The funny thing about chemomoon is that Jose and I have never gone on vacation together… like a real vacation that involves a plane and going away for more than a day or two. I think that is what also makes this trip so special. Also he has never been to Disneyland!!! I’ve also never gone during Christmas time so I think this trip will be one for the books.
Okay back to radiation! My spine radiation will be separate from the radiation to my lymph nodes and chest. The radiologist ordered an MRI that will guide radiation on my spine. I will have 3-5 treatments there after I complete the first 28 rounds.
I wish I could say that the simulation was painless and it mostly was except for the stick-and-poke tattoos I received. Look, I have five tattoos and we all know I fucking hate needles but I seriously thought that a little poke was going to be no biggie. WRONG. I was laying in the CT scanner bed thingy with my hands overhead and the tech comes back and she starts talking to me about what she is going to do next. She lifts her hand into my view and there it was: a massively long weirdly shaped needle with a vessel of black ink at the top. I raised my voice and said, “I wish you hadn’t shown that to me… I really hate needles.” And then she felt bad and said she hates needles, too but gets tattoos. We started our conversation there and as she painfully poked my sternum, two dots on both of my sides, and one towards my belly button, I tried to care about her tattoo stories but couldn’t. The sternum was the worst part (I may or may not have yelled “Fuck” when she poked me there) and the pain matched the blood that mixed with the black ink. She sat there with a gauze and soaked it up for a minute or two, talking to me about her tattoo artist in Hawaii. I just wanted the appointment to end. Nothing I hate more than surprise needles.
And that is the tale of how your girl ended up with four new tattoos, courtesy of the local cancer center. Granted they are just tiny black dots, but they are powerful dots with purpose and a story and I sure do love when my tattoos mean something.
Today’s song lyrics of the day are brought to you by Jordin Sparks.
“You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo I’ll always have you
I’ll always have you
I’ll always have you”
madisonhatescancer 