Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): I had my first radiation appointment today. It went pretty okay. It was boring as fuck. But now… my whole week is fucked up. Ya girl has the ‘vid again.

TO THE SHORT VERSION!

Sometimes things get so bad in life that you just have to lololol it out. Like me getting COVID for the third time, days short of finishing radiation treatment for what I hope is forever. If you are having déjà vu, that is valid because I caught COVID three days before my last chemo as well. Am I meant to just not finish treatment on time or something? What is the universe trying to do for me here?

So no more radiation this week. No more Zoladex injection or oncologist visit. My body chose violence. Me and my sick ass will stay home and work most likely, get in a couple hours of animal crossing, and sit in existential dread. And probably nap.

I did have my first radiation treatment today though and it was boring as hell. I will say the ceiling art is way more interesting in the room I am in for my spine treatments. It is a bit more mature? Unfortunately, a red laser is like blinding me 80% of the time so I have to have my eyes closed. I think they use it for alignment purposes but I didn’t ask. Treatment lasted about 30 minutes. The scans and treatment for the T9 vertebra was quick but the L1 was so long. I was scanned twice each time before the treatment was given but the second treatment just keep going on and on. The machine was like stuttering, which I am guessing was intentional? It was weird. It still made a loud humming noise like my chest ones so I knew when I was being scanned versus being poisoned. I wish we could play an audiobook or something because it was so uncomfortable and I ran out of things to talk to myself about in my brain. Radiation is a great time to sit in a cess pool of anxiety.

I went to work after and I started to feel oddly fatigued and weird. I literally thought maybe it was the radiation. Can radiation symptoms work that fast? I don’t know. I had a little tickle in my throat and chalked it up to radiation literally passing through the front side of my body to reach my spine. But then a friend told me tonight that she tested positive, so I was like what the fuck I better test to be sure.

Two little lines lit up way too quickly. You know how you are told to wait 15 minutes? I only had to wait two before that stick was mocking me.

FUCK ME.

Stay tuned to learn more about how the universe is conspiring against me.

No song today. I am not feeling great. Sorry.