Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): I’ve had a fucking weekend, friends. Two ER visits solved the mystery of my head: a bacterial infection that resulted in an abscess that was making my lymph nodes angry because they couldn’t help me fight the infection. I am now on the mend, but everything I wanted to get done this weekend did NOT get done. I need another version of me that is cancer free who can get all the “Fuck cancer! Enjoy rainbows!” stickers out to you all!

TO THE LONG VERSION!

Have you been personally victimized by your own immune system? If so, you may be entitled to compensation. Call 1-800-FUCK-OFF to see what you qualify for today!!

Yes, I would like to file a claim under, “What the fuck!!? I have a bacterial infection on my head that has been causing me pain and I had to go to the ER twice!”

If you’ve been following the fuckening, it has been an ongoing saga that I am happy to report has a good ending. But of course, it involved more pain, a needle, a scalpel, and a week’s worth of antibiotics.

I left the ER Friday with swollen lymph nodes on the back of my head. Saturday morning, I woke up and my weird lump was mostly gone but my headache had moved from localized to my whole head. Not good. I took my pain meds and told myself I had to get through the weekend so I could talk to my oncologist on Monday. As the day wore on, the headache was still persistent despite taking an opioid. (For the record, my goal was to go my whole treatment without taking opioids, but this head issue was something I made a concession for since it has been fucking painful.) Again, red flag.

My mom and sister came over around 4 pm since we were on a mission to visit our local dispensary to get my medical marijuana card (I got it because I am a cancer patient yay me!) I’ve been interested in exploring CBD and THC products as an alternative to opioids to help manage pain and assist with appetite if I need it, so I was really excited to get my paperwork and get the process going. Before we left, I wanted my mom to examine my head to see how it was doing since I can’t really see it and fuck I wish I would have asked someone sooner. Let’s take a look at exhibit one.

What I forgot to mention in my previous post was that when I was at ER visit number one on Friday, the ultrasound tech made a comment that she thought the red little dot on my head could be the one causing havoc on my lymph nodes. Red dots near inflammation? Never a good sign. But none of the nurses said anything to me. So when I took off my cute turban, my mom and sister gasped at the sight of the little scalp abscess. Our weed dreams were now put on hold with another lovely visit to the ER. Gosh how lucky I am to have spent not only my Friday night but Saturday evening at the ER!

Luckily, the same nurse who had me as a patient Friday evening was working as the triage nurse and got me into a room within ten minutes of my arrival since she knew that I was a cancer patient and I was back, so she was very concerned. I ended up having the same PA and nurse again and everyone was shook at the sight of my little bald bitch of a head! And suddenly it all made sense. I was diagnosed with an infected abscess on my scalp and it was time for us to release the kraken! Just kidding. Just puss. But that unfortunately meant a needle to my head to numb me up, a scalpel slicing me like Fruit Ninja, and another needle poking about looking for the goods.

I normally do not like to call myself brave because nothing about being a cancer patient makes me brave. I just have to endure because I want to live. However, last night I was brave when she numbed me up and was digging around. I mustered my last bit of energy since I so badly wanted to feel better. My pain was so incredibly intense. Unfortunately, the PA could not find the puss pocket and didn’t want to keep digging but said she would prescribe some antibiotics (cephalexin) and that would clear up my bacterial infection.

I woke up in even more pain this morning. I really thought there was a third ER visit in my future so I was mentally preparing myself. I took another pain med and hoped for the best. By 3 pm, there was this weird release. My head didn’t feel consumed by the headache that I have had since Thursday. I suddenly just felt pain that felt like was there because someone had sliced me open.

My new healing wound looks pretty gnarly, so I didn’t want to include it just in case some folks reading this are sensitive to gory images, but of course if you know me you can personally message me for pictures! Photo consent is good consent, same practice I have with my red urine photo.

Basically an ingrown hair that turned buck wild tried to take me out. How sad if my tombstone said I died from complications from a bacterial infection caused by an ingrown hair that hated me and not fucking cancer? That would have been wack.

New moral of the story: Inflammation with something that doesn’t look normal and is near by might be bad.

I live to blog another day.

P.S.: Stickers are coming! I started processing them today. My first batch of ones being sent out in the mail go out tomorrow. I am still processing in-person delivery orders, but will contact you all shortly to schedule pick up. I do have red devil chemo #4 on Thursday, so if you’re willing to come by my house to get your order this weekend since I will be couch ridden, you are welcome to stop by! Just don’t forget your mask!

Today’s song lyric of the day is brought to you by GARZA.

“I’ve been walking a lonely road
I’m on my own til I get home
It’s almost morning the sun is low
And when I go you’ll never know
No, no, no
No, no, no
Yeah you can try but you can’t kill me”

– Can’t Kill Me, GARZA, Walker & Royce, Calica