Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): It is the eve of my last red devil chemo. I cannot believe I made it! I still need to endure and survive the next two weeks until my first round of weekly Taxol. Yesterday, my mom’s golf friends held a fundraiser in my honor. Um, how sweet is that? How did I get so lucky for so many people to want to care for me??!

TO THE LONG VERSION!

I consider myself lucky, privileged, and blessed to have a mom and a dad who exemplify what it means to be a servant leader and to give selflessly. They both genuinely have always gone out of their way to help others, regardless of what is happening in their lives. Growing up, my dad was the first to befriend the neighbors and quickly became friends with two of the elderly folks in our cul-de-sac. He would help them with their yards, run errands with them, join them for lunch. My mom has always had a big heart, running a daycare and going above and beyond caring for the kids and families who came. Both made others feel loved and valued and cared for. They were the greatest demonstration of giving to others without expectation of receiving, but our lives always felt so rich and full.

Even though my parents are no longer together, they both have continued to care for those in their communities. My dad is still the first person you would want to call when you need help. He is steady, dependable, and resourceful. My mom is the first person to step up and offer a hand to help, no matter what you are doing and she does it with a smile and probably some cute jokes. They both have impacted so many people with their generosity and love that those actions and behaviors have always been what I have strived to do in my own life. How can I care for others? Where are the needs in the communities I belong to?

I’ve learned to redefine “community” over the years. Community is more than just the one we live in. I like to view it as a taxonomy of sorts. At the top, it is the Tri-Cities community. Then it breaks down into which city I specifically live in, where I went to school, the organizations I participate in, where I work, my neighborhood, the various friend and professional groups I interact with, interest and hobby groups, even the spaces I belong to online. At the very bottom of the taxonomy is my community in my home with my partner and two cats and random spiders that crawl into my tub. Hey, when they are here, they are family!

We all participate in several communities in informal and formal ways. Within those communities, we decide how active we can be. The more you participate (in any form), the stronger the sense of community might feel. At any time we can remove ourselves from these communities depending how we feel they serve us where we are in life. Communities are quite fluid and ever changing, yet constantly available, especially in the digital world.

Beyond our personal community taxonomies, we may also belong or benefit by extension from the communities that those closest to us belong to. In this scenario, we will use my mom as an example. She is part of an extensive golf community because of where she lives, how often she plays, and the level of participation in her community. Everyone I have ever met always says the same thing to me when they meet me for the first time: “We love your mom so much. She is so wonderful.”

When her golf friends found out I was diagnosed with cancer, they immediately sprung into action and planned a golf fundraiser in my honor. Yesterday was that event. I was humbled and stunned by the support and love I felt when I went to say hello and send them off to play. Here is a group of women who (most) do not know me, but have taken me into their community as one of their own because of my mom. Everyone greeted me with hugs and wishes of defeating cancer. Cancer seems to be something that we all are affected by at some point in our lives. I really wish we weren’t. That common thread is so painful, yet powerfully connective. I left in tears feeling so loved and supported. The feeling of community is a priceless thing. Photo intermission time!

In those moments of gratitude, it was hard not to feel guilty and recognize my privilege. I am going to make it financially. I am going to be okay, but not everyone who endures a chronic illness can survive the financial burden that comes with that kind of diagnosis, let alone the diagnosis itself. I am so lucky to not only have the support and love of the communities I belong to, but also access to other communities from others around me.

I don’t know if my taxonomy community theory is real. It is just how I visualize things working in my life. I feel like there is probably a real scientific psychological theory out there that I just ripped off because I was too lazy to Google it and I am like seven years post degree, but it sounds good to me. I am sure I learned about it somewhere and now my unconscious mind has made it its own. Oh well.

I cannot wait for the day that I am better and can resume giving back to the communities who have and are supporting me at this time.

Now let’s go kick that red devil ass one more time!!!!

Today’s song lyric of the day is brought to you by Whitney Houston.

“Bring me higher love, love
Bring me higher love

Think about it, there must be a higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is wasted time
Look inside your heart, and I’ll look inside mine

– Higher Love, Kygo, Whitney Houston