Fast facts (if you don’t have time to read the full post): I survived my first four rounds of radiation therapy last week! This week we will go hard with six rounds. Six?! How do you math, Madison!? Today the techs scheduled me to come on Sunday since they are doing a special opportunity for folks to get radiated and knock one off their countdown since they are closed for Thanksgiving. I opted in and have radiation on Sunday at 8:45 am. My last day of radiation is now December 19! I also have an MRI scan on Wednesday at 5:30 pm for my spine. It will be an hour-long scan. They better have fucking decent music this time. An hour in scan land seems boring as fuck. Cue scanxiety.

TO THE LONG VERSION!

Mini story #1: The nails that lifted the most on my hands are my thumbs, particularly my left thumb, so much so that I thought I would lose it. Luckily I got to keep all my finger nails. I noticed both are extremely dark underneath the nail and still lifted so I had this weird thought that if I stuck a needle under my nail, maybe I could clean the nails. Tonight I tried that and large ass chunks pulled out and I am pretty sure they are peach skin pieces from my peach obsession this summer. I am disgusted with myself. My right thumb is completely clean now while my left is still black in spots. Will try again later.

Mini story #2: Going to the grocery store alone is hard. I can’t tell if it is the neuropathy in my fingers, the lack of coordination I now have post-chemo, my finger prints, or a mix of all cancer-causing stupidity but opening small plastic bags for produce is now suddenly my worst fear and nightmare. It is so incredibly hard for me to get them open to the point I approach anxiety attack levels of stress! You might be thinking, “Madison, just lick your fingers and pull on the bags!!!” But in a post-COVID world and the fact I am still building up my white blood count, that is a hard pass. I also did try that and it didn’t really work. Again, I think it is my fingers. They suck. For now I awkwardly will struggle in the store and hope that I eventually can open a bag to score some lemons.

Mini story #3:

Rad tech #1: I like your all-seeing eye tattoo.

Me: Thanks. Too bad it didn’t see my cancer coming.

Rad tech #1 and #2: Oh. *Awkward silence*

Me: Lol dark cancer humor.

Rad tech #2: That was pretty funny.

Mini story #4: I had my Zoladex injection on Thursday. Harry Porter gave blood like a champ and my labs actually came back on time for once. My oncologist was pleased with my progress and doesn’t want to see me until January. However, she did prescribe me my oral hormone blocker pill I am supposed to take every day for the next five years. She said I could start it now or after radiation. I have chosen to start it later, but that is not the point of this mini story. Two amazing things happened before my injection: Sarah stole me three cheeses so I could get a head start on chemocuterie before injection and I stole THE BEST oatmeal I have ever had in my life. It was a rare find. It was called Mylk Labs Instant Oatmeal and it was the coconut flavor. I ate it after radiation on Friday and it was DIVINE. I would not be mad if that was all I got for Christmas this year.

$378,725. That is the total amount that was raised Saturday night at the Tri-Cities Cancer Center Autumn Affair fundraiser. I was invited to attend because I shared my story on video to encourage folks to give that evening. My story was met with a humbling standing ovation from the crowd and compliments throughout the rest of the night for the bravery I have for sharing my journey. Although I am flattered by such thoughts, I once again do not feel brave in any sense. I have been forced into a position where I have to do whatever to save my life and I have chosen along the way to share in hopes to educate others about cancer and advocate for those with cancer. I have a loud little voice and it appears people are willing to listen so I might as well make it worth their time and mine.

I invited my friend Zach as my plus one and he was mistaken for my husband throughout the evening. Love that journey for us. We ate lots of cheese, joked about drinking all the wine at the table, shared some laughs, attempted to win live auction bids, and made some new friends with the randoms at our table. The night ended with dancing to the live band and eating King’s Cake flown in from New Orleans. It was a special evening and I am so grateful I got to be part of the fun and donate back to the foundation. Oh! And I got to hang out with some of my favorite nurses!

TO THE PHOTOS!

Radiation is starting to make me tired. I slept in on Sunday and fell asleep last night at 8 pm until 7 am this morning. I also napped yesterday. No matter how much I slept, I just couldn’t get enough. Was it the 11:30 pm late night out or the invisible lasers? Who’s to say! I must be some sort of party animal now.

Today’s song lyrics of the day are brought to you by The Wanted.

“The sun goes down, the stars come out
And all that counts is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I’m glad you came”

– Glad You Came, The Wanted